Why Rejection is Good.

I have a confession. I have this agent I’d really really love to have. Or at least I think I would. I saw her at an event and every comment she made matched my own opinions. She was funny, passionate, and didn’t care about grammar – just story. I tried to pitch her there and then. It didn’t go well because I was so keen that I made a total idiot of myself. That was over a year ago. I followed her on twitter*, checked podcasts for appearance, and semi-stalked her in that way authors sometimes do when they think they’ve found their agent soul mate.

There’s a problem though. She doesn’t want me. I’ve queried her twice. Once with decent material and once with something I know to be solid and some of my best work. She doesn’t want me. Even worse, upon receiving the second rejection I realize they’re form rejections. Double ouch. Quadruple ouch. I’ve been lucky and across two projects I’ve gotten some really nice personal rejections with constructive criticism and legitimate reasons for a no, like they’re already trying to sell something similar.

Now, I’ve also gotten a lot of ‘I just didn’t connect to the _character/plot/material_.’ Which is another one that hurts. My form rejection from my apparently not-to-be soulmate of an agent put it in a way that set off a light bulb even if I also found it a bit condescending at first. She she pre-formattedly wrote: You deserve an agent who will feel just as passionate about your work as you do. 

My initial feeling was – yes, of course I do but I want YOU to be passionate about my work! Here’s the thing though, she’s not. She’s not going to be and it’s not her, it’s me.

When you are looking for an agent, you cannot set your heart on just one. You cannot choose one based on how their tweets make you laugh (My Rejector!) or their taste in shoes is impeccable (Juliet Mushens) or because you’d really like to have a coffee with them one day (Molly Ker Hawn). You need an agent who is passionate about your writing. You need an agent who likes your style, your voice; who sees the story you want to tell and says ‘Ohhhh!’

I should’ve looked more carefully at this agent’s list of authors and seen that I wouldn’t fit in. Not because I am a lesser writer, but because my style wouldn’t jibe. Some people have truly eclectic lists, but most, if you look carefully, have a what I’ll call a pallet. Writers of similar shades, not in stories told but in how they’re told. This agent I won’t have**, tends toward authors that write in a smart, more literary way. I write contemporary YA with a focus on realistic dialogue, diversity, and mature plots. I write with an eye to being easy to read because I want my stories to be read by teens who might not otherwise or who are reading my book for a break from that god-awful A Tale of Two Cities that sent me running from literature for several years it scarred me so.

Somewhere, there is an agent who will love the kinds of stories I’m telling. And no one else will do. The same is true for you – do not settle for anything less. So, from here on out we are looking at rejections differently. You are interviewing them to join your storytelling team and if they say no, it’s because they are not the right person to promote your book. Nothing more, nothing less. Keep interviewing and researching for the right person and you will find them.


*as of this post, i’ve stopped. see there!

**see how I flipped it? I won’t have her!

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